“…But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?” -Laura Bush
About 2 years…2 years of timed intercourse, ovulation sticks, an AVA bracelet, and tracking apps. 2 years of monthly sadness, beyond the realm of PMS, every time my period showed up. 2 years of the questions of “when are you going to start a family” or “You don’t want to wait too long”, while advising folks that “we’re working on it!”. 2 years of struggling to believe I had any purpose as a wife, since I couldn’t even seem to get pregnant. 2 years of confusion and hopelessness until a scheduled pap smear. My gynecologist told me that since it has been at least a year without conceiving, she would refer us to a fertility specialist to see if anything was going on and hopefully provide assistance in our journey to conception.
